好文值得一看。我们中国人本来就不太会说NO，很多人由于身份限制，更不敢说NO。这篇文章的建议都蛮可行的。

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http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Custom/MSN/CareerAdvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=299&sc_cmp1=JS_299_wihublead

The employment gods are against you if you say no. If you do not sacrifice, then massive suffering will result.

But you understand the reality. There's a lot of work to be done. You want to be responsible and dependable, yet you want a life outside of work, too.

"I think this is more of a problem than most people realize," said Ed Turi, an instructor of leadership and organizational behavior at Indiana Wesleyan University. "You have to come from a mindset that you have a right to say no to your boss."

But how do you even begin to do this?

First, make sure you understand your boss' goals and objectives, Turi said. You are trying to make your boss look good, and it helps to understand the pressures your boss has as well as understanding how he or she works.

Does your boss put out fires as they come up? Is he organized? Is she good with people, or with numbers?

"The more you can understand about them, the better you can build a strong relationship," Turi said. "If you know your boss has a lot of pressure from above, you know that's a hot point for him. You may want to do things to alleviate that pressure."

After evaluating your boss and yourself, you can build on that information by figuring out how to work to marry both styles and play off strengths and weaknesses. You can even sit down and talk to your boss about it.





Not only does this build a relationship with your boss and increase efficiency, but it also sets up the groundwork to decline requests.

"When there are conflicting needs, you can work out a compromise," Turi said. "It's not always saying no, it's creating a strong relationship."

Lisa Autry, associate director of human resources and corporate development for Benicorp Insurance Co., said building a relationship puts you in a better position to say no.

"You have to -- a couple of times -- compromise and do it; then, you are in a better position to say, 'No, I can't do it this time. How about next time?' " Autry said.

By making the sacrifices early on, you establish a sense of dependability and the leverage to say no to requests.

Your boss is not the only person you have to examine. Look at yourself, too. Assess your needs, your strengths and weaknesses as well as your personal style. Moreover, evaluate your predisposition toward authority figures.

"How do you feel about working for someone? Are you a rebel, anti-authoritative? Do you have difficulties with authority? Do you have fears or (are you) intimidated by authority?" Turi said.

Think you are doing yourself and your boss a favor by saying yes when you really mean no? Afraid of losing that promotion, that raise, that approval? Not being considered a team player?

"Yes" can hurt you more than "no" at times.

"When you say yes to things that you want to say no to, you tend to become resentful and angry," Turi said. "Those feelings will come out in other ways. You will miss deadlines; you will be late for work. There are consequences to saying yes all the time and not being assertive."

If you sacrifice that work/life balance, then you could burn out and suffer from poor performance, Autry said.

"You find yourself where you are overextended and you don't get things done," Autry said. "Instead of saying no, ask your boss to help (you) prioritize. That's better to do before you find that you are over your head and turn in less-than-quality work."