哇塞，诗有多精彩，楼主就有多无聊

这位这么戳心窝的话你也直言出来😊

英文写真不容易的， 赞一个

歪哥都有小妾啦？你老婆知道不？

越是这种嘴巴上花的，其实最老实，也就是嘴巴上讨个便宜

这是专业挖坑来的吗 哈哈

哈哈，我也是就注意到这个小“妾”啦，歪哥英文诗写的中文都退步了

I do have some suggestions: 1 paragraph You can use a better verb or phrase than "goes by", for example, "pop out"? Choose a verb to express your surprise. 3 paragraph The scenery/description is not vivid enough, too bland for me. 4 paragraph The word "we" is too sudden. I suppose you refer to the "who" in the 1 paragraph? There is not enough reference of the person or people you ask for response? Maybe add a paragraph for them? "Blue" and "sad" mean similar feelings. " blue" is a better word than "sad" though if you want to get rid of one of them. I do like your word choices such as recollect and uneasily hesitate, which evoke feelings out of me when I read them.

Ha ha, get to the point.