Pearlmm, well said, I had the same thought. Lz, you r overdoing it as a people pleaser. 五十而知天命, say what you feel and think, especially in this anonymous forum.

回复 [url=https://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2424047&postid=80728399#80728399]121楼juniebugca的帖子[/url]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement. You are right - I am a people pleaser and a perfectionist.

I have a relatively large team reporting to me at work. A couple of years ago, in an open room meeting I made some innocent comments about a poor-performing contractor who happens to a lady from India. There was a room full of witnesses and my tone was not critical or threatening. I basically asked "what can I do to help you deliver xyz? You know you have been here for over 6 weeks, and this task is on our project's critical path, I would like to see a concrete plan so that we know key milestones won't be missed"

She started crying and walked away. Then all hell broke loose ... somebody from her management team made a huge deal and escalated all the way to the top. The coaching advice given to me by my boss was this "If you want to fire her, don't do it yourself. Get her boss to do it. Never criticize openly or embarrass people - you don't know who is carrying an assault rifle in the trunk and on the brink of pulling the trigger given any excuse"

Honestly I do want to revise the text after reading it again this morning anyway.
P.S. I really enjoy being 40 something ... please don't wake me up until the last minute, will ya?

现实点的人认为婚姻就是人生的teamwork, 互相搭把手养孩子过日子，感情生活上没有太高的期待值，大家相安无事就好，这样也无可非议。显然楼主是很浪漫的人，不以此为满足。你结婚之前已经有不少red flags, 只是觉得双方外在条件相配就继续共同生活，这都是因为经验不足不能当机立断。感觉你们就是典型的“两个好人”过不到一起去的例子，没有情投意合的默契，都不是真正地了解欣赏对方。现在能够放手是一种幸运。
楼主有没有想过你真正喜欢需要的女性是什么样的？你太太符合吗？恋爱结婚是靠运气，但是善于思考总结经验的人成功的可能性更大。

写得很好很真诚，喜欢看，直面过去剖析自己内心深处需要勇气不需要对错。 人生很多个阶段，童年少年往往是误打误撞和命运，少受自主意识的影响，后面的阶段中自己积累的人生经验和智慧会起比较大的影响，这就是停下来回头看看的意义，自己的人生无需向任何人解释对错，对得起自己的心就好。

回复 [url=https://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2424047&postid=80729427#80729427]123楼科罗伊的帖子[/url] 你说的很对。我就是在思考这个问题，目前还没有答案

my score, very balanced. I am perfect. haha Your score on the Explorer scale is 26 out of a possible 42, or 62%. Your score on the Builder scale is 19 out of a possible 42, or 45%. Your score on the Director scale is 18 out of a possible 42, or 43%. Your score on the Negotiator scale is 25 out of a possible 42, or 60%.

回复 [url=https://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2424047&forumpage=1&page=12#80722600]114楼热血热胜红日光的帖子[/url]

明天有事要出门，星期天在更新第二页部分。

楼主加油！一直关注中。