他在depressed的时候，会withdraw into his cave。这个时候不要去chase他，让他自己度过这个周期，自然而然地他会回来，就像spring一样。是这样的吗? 男生很需要空间吗?这就是男生想要的space和自由吗?

The above comment was made after reading Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I realized my past relationship pattern has always being like this and I wanted to make a change. I dont want to be all demanding and bitter and waiting to be pleased. All those selfness ruined the relationships I wanted to have.

Two weeks ago, we went exclusive. I was very excited about that. We usually talk on the phone twice a day. One night he said he would try to give me a call later or the next day. He didnt call untill the very next evening. I was very upset when he called and yelled at him for making me waiting. He said he wasnt feeling very well and didnt want to talk to anyone. He stayed home and did nothing but rest. He even missed his grandma's call. I was very mad after that. He got pissed and said, 'I have already told you why I didnt call. You think it is easy for me to find a time to call you while i am trying to work我容易吗我)" I still yelling and didnt know what I was talking about. I murmurred something which didnt make sense to me. Maybeing seeing that i was really upset, he calmed down a little and said, " I think about you too." I hang up the phone without saying goodbye. That was bad behavior. He didnt call for the next day and called the following day. Later I realized I made a huge mistake by wanting people to do things they promised or I wanted. That is not how it works. After i backed off a little, I start to be happier. Last night when he called I was almost asleep. We talked for ten minutes. He was so gentle and caring. He said he just got home. I asked him whether he had eaten. He listed the things he ate for the whole day. I said it didnt seem to be your style. You eat healthy. He said he went junk today. He was trying to quit smoking. I said, good night, take a relaxing shower and go to bed. He said "that is what you are going to do." I said I was in bed already. He said, " did I wake you?" I said, I am glad you called, I was waiting for your call(damn,shouldnt have said that, or should I?) He said," I am glad I did too." After hanging up, i was laughing at myself how tender and caring i was on the phone. Seems the book is working.

Does relationship need a lot of work to make it work? Am I being too hard on myself? Should I see that I have his attention sometime or should I see that sometime I dont have his attention? It is not my first love, but this time I really am working on it. Wish myself all the best. Maybe this is the opportunity for me to be the person I want to be.