I came to the US many years ago. I first went to a small liberal arts college in the Midwest. China had just opened up, so I, like everyone else I knew then, didn''t know much about the outside world. Not surprisingly, as a shy, boyish 20-year-old, soon after I arrived in rural middle America, I began to feel really lonely and completely out of place! 

Anyhow, I was working in the library one afternoon, heard people mentioning next day being "Thanksgiving," though I had no idea what that was. Honestly, I could care less as I was hearing so many new words daily that it felt overwhelming and confusing most of the time. I vaguely sensed this Thanksgiving thing must be the name of a holiday as there was no school the next day. Most of my classmates had left campus by that afternoon and the library was unusually quiet.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a slender, middle-aged blonde lady showed up in front of me and introduced herself. "My name is Judy," she said, all smiles, asked for my name, and went on: "If you have no plans tomorrow, will you join our family for Thanksgiving dinner?" Although still new in America, I''d slowly got used to random local strangers approaching and talking to me, yet when a complete stranger suddenly showed up like this and invited me to go to her house, I was still quite shocked. I initially thought I had misunderstood her, but after confirming she was indeed asking me to go to her house the next day, I only became more confused.

A few weeks ago, I had been invited to spend a weekend with the family of a classmate named Adam, who I barely knew. In China, you don''t invite someone you barely know to your house, let alone let him sleep over. But at least Adam was a classmate, I know who he was. But who this lady was I had no idea. "Why did she, a total stranger to me, approach me, a total stranger to her, and invite me to her house? What are her ''real motives''?" I asked myself but could find no answer. Yet looking at her face again, which seemed kind, I concluded, at least, she probably wasn''t a malicious person!

As agreed, Judy drove over the following day to pick me up from my dorm. On the way to her house, I expressed to her, in my best English, my perplexity about her invitation. I told her that in my country, it was unheard of a complete stranger would invite another stranger to her house for dinners on any occasion. Judy smiled and explained that her family had just moved from a big city to this small town. Since "Thanksgiving is a holiday where family and friends gather," she continued, "I figure a foreign student like you must feel really lonely on this day if you have nowhere to go, so that''s why I went to your college and happened to meet you there."

Soon we reached her house, a one-story home not huge but very tidy inside. There I met Lyle, Judy''s husband, tall and muscular, and their four children: the handsome and lanky Jimmy, with his girlfriend Joyce, who appeared really short next to him; Laura, their oldest daughter, a nurse, warm and chatty; Lucy, the light-haired middle daughter, more reserved and Jill, their youngest, a bit younger than me, with darker hair and a playful smile on her face. "Now the kids have grown and moved out," Lyle explained, "we decided to downsize when we moved." "Downsize" is yet another new word, though I managed to guess more or less its meaning in the conversation.



I experienced many of the "firsts" in my life on this day: my first Thanksgiving celebration, first time knowing the existence of turkey, first visit to an American family in a holiday and the first taste of those strange American holiday foods (besides turkey): mash potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, etc. I had been invited to dinner at a professor''s house a couple of months ago. I was quietly indignant by their lack of hospitality towards me - just two simple dishes (spaghetti with meat balls and salads), without realizing this is how many Americans eat for a normal meal. I was relieved Americans do put more than just a few simple dishes on their tables on some occasions - even though every dish still looked and tasted strange to me.

I also heard my first "grace" before meals. The English "saying grace, " originated from the Christan prayer gratiarum actio (this Latin phrase roughly means "gratitude action," though it''s usually translated as "offering thanksgiving"), is a ritual before meals meant to express gratitude to the Creator for everything given to us including our foods. As I joined hands with their family and heard Lyle saying the "grace", I realized what was really going on: sure, Judy''s invitation to me may be incomprehensible from the perspective of our culture, but based on her beliefs and traditions, it is a sensible and indeed wonderful gesture, especially on a holiday like Thanksgiving.

On that day, I felt as well, for the first time, warmth in a still very strange and foreign land. Naturally it''s difficult to leave one''s family and culture and get thrown into a place where the language, culture and people are so different. If you are not mature enough as I was to deal with this, the world can look downright indifferent and cold. Thankfully on my first Thanksgiving Day, feelings of love and warmth replaced, however temporarily, those of nagging cold and indifference. 

It''s been said "where kindred spirits exist within the seas, the end of the earth feels home", but let me add that, in today''s increasingly "smaller world," even beyond the seas, no part of the world has to feel foreign as long as you find kindred spirits. At this moment, on the approaching of yet another Thanksgiving, after many years of celebrating it, I feel exceedingly grateful to Judy and her family, though of course, my gratitude list is very long!