今天收到老师的邮件，老师说孩子（小学三年级）在学校偷了别的小朋友的得到奖励（一颗糖）。老师让大家还回去，孩子没有还回去，另一个小朋友说我们在我们孩子这里，孩子承认了，还回去加道歉了。

我问了孩子事情经过。孩子的版本，他跟另一个小朋友在地上发现了那个糖，他看没人要他就拿起来放书包了！后来他们出门到hallway了（糖在教室里），老师问谁拿了糖，他很害怕get in trouble就不敢说话。跟他一起发现糖的那个小朋友说我们家孩子拿了。老师问“why did you take/steal（孩子说不记得老师怎么说的了）the candy from xxx” 孩子说“i didnt know its his”老师让孩子还给他然后道歉。孩子照做了，也跟另一个小朋友道歉了。

但是！老师给我的邮件的版本，上来第一句话就accuse孩子STEAL the candy，甚至都没问这糖怎么来的！另一个小朋友也看见孩子是在地上捡的，但是老师根本没问就说孩子steal！

我们家庭经济不错，而且最近halloween，家里糖很充足，根本不需要“偷”。孩子的确比较胆小，不敢speak up，非常害怕别人拒绝他，平时要个创可贴要口水都不敢主动要。孩子更小的时候还因为怕老师不同意上厕所结果不敢举手尿裤了。孩子很shy，不敢speak up这点我入学之前写在get to know your kid那个纸上。而且，以孩子的性格我完全相信，老师让他们return，他真的是害怕get in trouble才不敢说话的。孩子就是这样的性格，我们一直在努力改变，但是性格真的很难改变。

按理说一颗糖是小事，但是老师说steal是不是上纲上线了！说小孩子steal是个很过分的label，她甚至都不问问糖哪里来的，也完全忽略了小孩子的性格问题，就给孩子贴标签！我觉得我需要她为“steal”给孩子道歉！

update：我肯定是要替孩子讨回公道！我不知道是直接找校长还是先回复老师，看老师会不会道歉。

直接forward邮件给校长吗？还是先回复老师，要求道歉？

直接转发。同时回信， 回信的时候也带上校长主任康嫂等等相关的。回信的时候就要求面谈 不要让老师糊弄过去 老师肯定会找借口说是你孩子自己没解释 ， 她百分之百是这个借口。

这种老师真的是极不负责，居然还有guts给家长发信。这件事如果是我会严肃的要求老师retract her accusation，另一方面我会教育自己的孩子never apologize for anything that you didn't do，虽然对孩子来说不容易，但是要学会stand up for yourself，哪怕是retention也不怕，mom has your back。

For your reference:

Adding Mr/Mrs. xx (principal's name) for awareness and complete transparency.

Dear Mrs. XX (teacher's name),

Hope you are well!

Thank you for bringing this incident into my attention. I've had a conversation with XX (kid's name) and now I have a clear understanding of what happened earlier today.

First of all, he thought this was a finders keepers situation and I already made sure he understands that anything and everything he finds in the classroom need to go back to the teacher and should never leave the classroom. However, with that said, "stealing" is an accusation that I can not take lightly to which I strongly disagree in such incident; It's extremely unfair and irresponsible to make such accusation against a 9 year-old without thorough investigation of the incident.

Second, he apologized not because he admitted that he took the candy on purpose, but because he was intimidated into apologizing. I also had the conversation with him about never apologizing for something he didn't do, especially when pressured by a grownup or person of authority.

This may be a small incident, the lasting impact on a 9 year-old can be tremendously detrimental. To make things right, I suggest that you retract the accusation of "stealing" and issue an apology. If there is anything further that you'd like to clarify, I would be more than happy to meet and discuss in person at your convenience.

Best regards,

XX

忍吧。

没有人会帮你家孩子说话。

楼主认命吧

你孩子在别人手里。

就算你孩子牛逼赢一回

在美国这样也会被弄死。

教育孩子别惹事是正经。

让它们欺负其他华人家去。。。

你闹的结果是保护别人牺牲自己。

你让那些说闹的编一些自己闹的经历？！

参见圣地亚哥李艳

华人帮她说话吗？

有没有一种可能，是你家孩子在说谎