听写的有些是漏掉的，大致就是这个意思，大家将就看吧，不对的，希望指正。毕竟九分钟的演讲。

翻译中文是用的chat gpt. 有异议的去找这个小子。这个小子说，这些言论让他翻译，是一种冒犯的。

Here''''s serious stuff happening, people, I live in the great state of taxes now, 18 years in Ohio, 20 years in California, and I got to see California turn to absolute, horrendous, horrendous thing. And travelling the world, I got to see San Francisco turn into one of the most demented cities, one of the greatest downfalls I ''''ve ever seen, and that is the other candidate worked for two decades. And it''''s absolutely wild to see. And in Texas, stuff is really, really crazy. We''''re right there by a wide open border. Where am I proud Latinos at tonight? You guys see what i mean. It''''s wide open, there''''s so many of them, it''''s absolutely incredible, believe it or not, people, I welcome migrants to the United States. And by open arms I mean like this.

有严重的事情在发生，大家，我现在住在德州这个伟大的州，之前在俄亥俄州生活了18年，加利福尼亚州生活了20年，我亲眼见证了加州变得糟糕透顶。而且，环游世界的时候，我也看到旧金山变成了一个极度扭曲的城市，这是我见过的最严重的堕落之一，而那里的另一位候选人却在这工作了二十年。这一切真的非常疯狂。而在德州，情况也真的很疯狂，我们离完全敞开的边境非常近。今晚我自豪的朋友们在哪儿？你们明白我的意思吧？边境是敞开的，移民真的太多了，简直难以置信。大家，我欢迎移民来到美国。而当我张开双臂欢迎的时候，我是这样欢迎的。

t is wild, and these Latinos, they love making babies too. Just know that they do. They do there''''s no pulling out. The don''''t do that. They come inside, just like they did to our country

这是很疯狂的，这些拉丁裔真的很喜欢生孩子，大家要知道，他们确实是这样的。他们不会停止生育。他们就像进入我们国家那样进入我们的生活。

Publicans of the party with a good sense of humor, three speeches under attach people. I host a show, and each week I get updates what words we’re allowed to use and not use anymore. It’s happening right now, the past tew years. It’s a real thing. And you know, used to be able to tell people to Google stuff. My mom’s a boomer in the state of Ohio, and there’s no convincing the of anything she’s eating the cats they’s eating, the dogs, there’re eating the pets up there. It is absolutely wild times. It really, really is. And, you know, there’s a lot going on, like, I don’t’ know if you guys know this, but there’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now, yeah, I think it’s called Puerto Rico. Okay, Okay, all right, okay. We’re getting there again. Normally, I don’t follow the national anthem, everybody. This isn’t exact a perfect comedy setup. There’re some people here, all right, very good. I like it. I have other policies that I think it should be implemented as well, like me personally, I think football should be all year round. Yeah, so many great athletes. I don’t know about you guys, but I think that Travis Kelsey might be the next OJ Simpson.

共和党是个很有幽默感的政党，三场演讲都没听懂。我主持一个节目，每周都会收到通知，告诉我们哪些词语可以用，哪些不能用了。现在就正在发生，过去几年里这变成了现实。你知道吗？以前还能告诉人们去Google一下。我妈是住在俄亥俄州的婴儿潮一代，她什么都不信，她在那里吃猫吃狗，把宠物都吃了。真的是非常疯狂的时代，真的，真的。你们知道，现在在海洋中间居然漂着一个巨大的垃圾岛，对，那个地方叫波多黎各。好吧，好吧，没事，我们继续。通常我不跟着国歌走，这不是个完美的喜剧场景。这里有人，好吧，很好。我很喜欢。我还有一些政策建议，比如我个人觉得橄榄球应该全年举行。对，有那么多优秀的运动员。我不知道你们怎么想，但我觉得特拉维斯·凯尔西可能会是下一个OJ·辛普森。

Feels good in there the other sides’ got a lot of crazy endorsements, swift Eminem. Leo, DiCaprio, Beyounce. Everyday the democratic party looks more and more like a P daddy party. Okay, okay, okay, that’s what you guys want. All right, heck yeah, the cool black guys with a twining his head. What the hell is that? A lamp shied? Look at this guy, oh my goodness. Wow. I am just kidding. That’s one of my buddies. He had a Halloween party last nigh. We had fun. We carved watermelons together. It was awesome. This is a groan little morning crowd, hum? It’s tough to flow this audition for the next commissioner. Gordon’s over here it is, though it is crazy times we’re living in. I mean, all these pointless wars, it is unbelievable. What’s happening right now. It is incredible. Ukraine versus Russia, Isarel. It’s like bad soccer games. Who even cares? What are we doing? Why is our money involved in these wars?

感觉真不错。对方阵营有一堆疯狂的支持者，像斯威夫特、埃米纳姆、莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥、碧昂丝。每天看上去，民主党越来越像P·迪迪的派对。好吧，好吧，好吧，这就是你们想要的。是的，酷酷的黑人戴着稀奇古怪的帽子。那是什么？灯罩吗？看看这个家伙，哦，我的天啊。开玩笑的啦，那是我的一个朋友。他昨天晚上开了一个万圣节派对，我们玩得很开心，一起雕刻西瓜，真的很棒。你们是一个昏昏沉沉的早晨观众，对吧？紧接着的下一任专员选拔真是难以接上。不过我们确实生活在一个疯狂的时代。所有这些毫无意义的战争，简直难以置信。现在发生的事真的是不可思议。乌克兰对俄罗斯，以色列的战争，就像糟糕的足球比赛一样。谁在乎呢？我们在干什么？为什么我们的钱会投入到这些战争中？”

When it comes to Israel and Palestine, we’re all thinking the same thing. Settle you stuff already, best out the three rock paper scissors. You know the Palestinians are gonna throw rock every time. Feel to know the Jews have a hard time throwing that paper. You know what I’m saying. All right, we’re having fun now. We’re cooking. Hillary Clinton said that this is Nazi rally here today. Can you believe that for the most anti war president of my entire lifetime, and she calls him Hillter. Let me remind you, Hillary, it was your husband who shot innocent people, or, as the called them, inters.

Yeah, Hilary, I bet you did not see that one coming. What? By the way, if I commit suicide in three weeks, I didn’t. I mean, it’s just obvious to me who the right candidate is. There’s a guy out here dodging bullets. It is unbelievable, right?

说到以色列和巴勒斯坦，我们都在想同一件事：赶快解决吧，三局两胜的剪刀石头布好了。你们知道，巴勒斯坦人每次都会出石头。而犹太人扔纸可不是那么容易的事，明白我意思吧？好吧，现在我们玩得很开心。我们正在‘烹饪’呢。

希拉里·克林顿说今天这儿的集会是纳粹集会。你敢信吗？我一生中见过最反战的总统，她居然称他为希特勒。让我提醒你一下，希拉里，那可是你丈夫开枪打死了无辜的人，或者说，他们叫那些人‘实习生’。是啊，希拉里，你可能没预见到会被这么提出来吧？顺便说一句，如果我三周后‘自杀’了，那绝对不是我自己干的。对我来说，正确的候选人是谁已经很明显了。有个家伙在外面躲子弹，真是难以置信，对吧？

He took it right in the ear. Unbelievable, I thought about this. I don’t know if you have coolest place to get shot, like, if you’re gonna get shot, anywhere on your body. That’s where you want it, right there. Technically, he got shot in the head, depending on If you’re a democrat of republic, right? If you’re a democrat, his ear was grazed. If you’re a republican, he survived a head shot.

It is. It’s the best place to get shot. It’s the only part of the human body will drive a piercing through, like a little girl’s ear, for no reason, right? There’s just no it heals fast. Nobody cares. It’s the best place to get shot. He went down, saw blood on his hands. I’d imagine he thought, right then, I think I just won this shit. Stand up and says the most American words I''''ve ever heard him in my life. No, no before that, there was one more. Let me get my shoes.

他直接被打到了耳朵，真是难以置信。我想过这个问题，不知道你们有没有想过，身上哪里挨子弹是最酷的地方？如果你要挨一枪，身体的哪个部位最合适？就是耳朵。技术上来说，他被打中了头部，但这取决于你是民主党还是共和党，对吧？如果你是民主党，那就是耳朵擦伤；如果你是共和党，他就是在头部中弹后活下来了。

 确实，耳朵是挨枪的最佳位置。它是唯一一个我们会毫无理由地穿孔的身体部位，就像小女孩的耳朵，愈合得很快，没人会在意。这真的是挨枪的最佳地方。他倒下了，看到手上有血。我想当时他一定心想：‘我想我赢了这个比赛。’

 然后他站起来，说出了我这辈子听过的最美国的话。不，在那之前他还说了一个，让我先穿上鞋

Fearless, perhaps still with an active shooter. He’s talking like a guy that just and the best one night stand of his life, right? Like, where’s my shoes at? I goota get the hell out of here. Let me get my shoes. And the fight, fight, fight. What he did was so cool that Biden got Covid. Oh, yeah, go back. Look at the timeline of everything again three days after that. That means the Boden, he didn’t get that from hanging out with sick people. He was in a sterile room in the Whitehouse watching blood running down trump’s face as the pumps this fist Biden’s like stroke. Trump survived an assassination attempt. And Biden got Covide. We vote next week. God voted three months ago.

Another great Austin Taxes resident, Elon Musk, will be speaking here later today.

无所畏惧，也许现场仍有活跃的枪手。他说话的样子就像是刚刚经历了人生中最棒的一夜情似的，对吧？就像在说，我鞋子在哪儿呢？我得赶紧离开这儿。让我找找鞋子。然后就是各种 “抗争、抗争、抗争”。他（特朗普）做的事太酷了，结果拜登感染了新冠。哦，对了，倒回去看看。再把那之后三天的所有事情的时间线捋一遍。这意味着拜登可不是因为和生病的人接触才感染的。当时他在白宫的无菌室里，看着特朗普满脸是血，特朗普还挥舞着拳头，而拜登就像中风了一样（呆在那儿）。特朗普躲过了一次暗杀企图，而拜登却感染了新冠。我们下周就要投票了。上帝三个月前就已经做出了选择。

另一位了不起的得克萨斯州奥斯汀市居民，埃隆・马斯克，今天晚些时候会在这里发表讲话。

Unbelievable, genius You guys some shoot that rocket into outer space, the largest aircraft ever fires it off in this space, the largest aircraft ever fires it off in this space and them parallel parks it back to planet earth. Meanwhile, Kamala supports can’t parallel park their Toyota Priuses properly. Sorry . I listen to Elon Musk. I follow his lead. The world’s smartest richest man has my attention, except for when it comes to stock trading, then I listened to Nancy Pelosi.

But censorship is amongst us people. It’s a very, very, very big deal, and I am just here to say that you guys are for the right candidate. Tell you friends, let’s close it out and let’s make speech free again. Make America healthy again. Le’s beat the team from California, the team from new York should beat the team from California, not only in the election, but in the world series of baseball America sport, I love you, new York, god bless new York. God bless America. Let’s make it great again, i love you, thank you.

难以置信，太天才了！你们这帮人把那火箭发射到了外太空，有史以来最大的飞行器在太空发射升空，然后又能让它平行降落在地球上。与此同时，卡玛拉（哈里斯）的支持者们连把他们的丰田普锐斯好好地平行停进车位都做不到。抱歉，我听埃隆・马斯克的。我追随他的引领。这位世界上最聪明、最富有的人吸引了我的关注，除了股票交易方面，在那方面我听南希・佩洛西的。

但审查制度就存在于我们民众当中。这是一件非常、非常、非常重要的事，我来这儿就是想说，你们选的是正确的候选人。告诉你们的朋友们，让我们搞定这事，让言论再次自由起来。让美国再次健康起来。让我们在选举中打败来自加利福尼亚的那帮人，来自纽约的那帮人不仅要在选举中，而且要在作为美国体育运动的棒球世界大赛中打败来自加利福尼亚的那帮人。我爱你，纽约，上帝保佑纽约。上帝保佑美国。让我们再次让美国伟大起来，我爱你们，谢谢。

是哦。当初德国的犹太人就是这样，有本事的跑了，没本事的就死在集中营了。没什么可辩论的。

https://x.com/pengdangcomedy/status/1392147842731499520

楼主翻译一下这个

现代社会再搞集中营是， 既没有这个天时也没有这个地理，更没有人愿意出这个头

这是显而易见的，版上拿这个来糊弄人，实在不太聪明

但是，也可以拿各种优先来搞你吧，如果这个国家不在乎真正的人才

这个在欧洲的小伙伴应该深有体会，

罪魁祸首是谁呢

但是，继续不加筛选地放移民，发福利

会越来越没有钱的，会有好多旧金山

变成一个烂坑，自然人都会找宜居之地

这个和动物世界也没有啥本质区别吧

至于犹太人的历史，那是一部很难述说沉重的

通常大家是回避认真讨论和争论的

非法 两个字多余

人家可没加非法两个字

不管你承认不承认，不加筛选的大批移民带给美国的并不是好的前景。

当年来美国，也是因为它的包容和先进。

但是，任何事情都有个限度。

所以，我们也不说什么好和不好，大家是移民，大家一锅端。

最后，有本事的就移居其他地方，没有本事的，就继续呆着。

这个问题，没有啥好辩论的。