我实在是怕被拒，无法面对这个结果，所以就失踪了 - you may need to get over this - Like you applied for many jobs and you may just get one offer and many rejectiosn or just no response. This doesn't mean you are not good. You are just not a good fit for the jobs you applied. I think I may have the same issues though if I am back to the dating market. So hang in there.