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Huaren
等级上士
威望1
贴子1504
魅力4520
注册时间2020-04-21

pilingjushi

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我的新作,有什么想法没,对我写的英文,或这个故事?

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7

2020-04-30 20:36:55

A few more grammar problems - just my opinion

"One night" NOT "A night",
"at roadside" NOT "at aside of road",
"his steps" NOT "his step",
"on the back side of her head" NOT "her back side of head"
"rose" NOT "rised"
"shivered" NOT "gave a shiver"
"another back side of head with a braid on it" THIS IS CONFUSING, do you mean "the other backside of her head with a braid on it"?
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