Euro-English

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the
European Union rather than German, which was the
other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.